The Polyamorists’ Guide to the Galaxy, Episode 1
The Encyclopedia of Identity
This is a new series written collaboratively by the poly triad
, , and Sara Ness. The series will be published on each of our Substacks on a “whenever we finish each article” basis. We can’t wait to share it with you!!Without further ado, enjoy Episode 1…
Here, said the guide, we see the perfect partner.
They are always turned on. They remember every birthday, and are emotionally available anytime you have a feeling. They themselves only have convenient feelings, like support and polite ennui. They look great in loungewear. They only ever want you.
We have only found one planet on which this perfect person exists, and it is a small star somewhere in the vicinity of Betelgeuse Nine. Its existence may, in fact, be apocryphal, because none of our researchers have ever returned from there.
In the meantime, we at the Polyamorist’s Guide to the Galaxy have decided to try on a new fad called “realism”. We recommend it to our readers, despite its generally disagreeable qualities, because it has resulted in us getting more dates.
The realistic partner is slightly closed off or emotionally volatile, likes us most of the time, and looks great in loungewear.
And they can never be our everything….
Welcome to the Texas branch of the Polyamorist’s Guide to the Galaxy, where the polycules are bigger, the sex is wilder, and everyone has great hats.
We your hosts of the PGG, Mona, Sara, and Geof, are here with you today to discuss an important question…
What is Polyamory?
We have gathered answers from around the galaxy to fill your souls. We questioned the great oracles (posted on Facebook), spoke with wise men from around the world (asked our friends), and delved into the most complex research of hidden libraries (read a magazine). Today, we shall explore the following topics:
What is polyamory?
What isn’t it?
Why do people choose to be poly?
Why do we choose to be poly?
Is it only about the sex?
How good is the sex?
The answer to the last question, we can tell you already, is “Yes”. Due to our editors’ requirements, however, we will explore this topic more later.
Let’s begin with…
What Is and Isn’t Polyamory?
In the wider galaxy of cognate species that engage in partnered lifestyles, there is a consistent debate between denizens of what exactly a “relationship” consists of.
A wonderful example of this ongoing dilemma presents itself on Earth, the third rock from the central star of the Sol system in the Milky Way. It is home to a number of nascent sentient species among which the hominid earth-person has dominated. This species has engineered a specialized ecosystem that sustains untold amounts of navel-gazey, self-righteous philosophizing about interpersonal connection.
Inevitably, throughout the course of their explorations of pleasure, child rearing, and social convention, these earth-peoples stumbled across many types of relational structures that indeed did not center around two humans coupling and raising children as independent units.
Perhaps out of sheer boredom, they decided to make a big deal out of this. There has been quite a rabble-rousing around whether relationships exist for the purposes of emotional security, personal growth, social standing, inserting parts of one’s anatomy into others, or the ability to pay rent together.
As these earthmen are a nascent sentient species, our findings suggest that, should they survive the dark night of the soul that is planetary ecological dominance and the advent of a technological super intelligence, there are interesting things in store for their social and sexual development...
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In the bustling galaxy of relationships, where stars collide and hearts intertwine, lies a realm often misunderstood: the world of polyamory. It's not just about love triangles or tangled webs of romance; it's a philosophy, a lifestyle, and a journey of self-discovery.
So, what exactly is polyamory, and what sets it apart from the realms of cheating or traditional monogamy? Let's embark on a voyage through the nebulous landscape of human connection, where conventional standards blur, and the heart's desires instead reign supreme.
Within the universe of polyamory, there are many different constellations. There are:
Triads and quads
Hierarchical and non-hierarchical couplings
Kitchen table and parallel poly
Mono-poly and polyfidelity
Swinging and ‘don’t-ask-don’t-tell’
Emotional non-monogamy, sexual non-monogamy, intellectual non-monogamy, etc
To show you how complicated all of this can get, take a look at the following map created by Franklin Veaux:
How does one keep it all straight? Most polyamorists don’t. We muddle through with a compass made of heartstrings, pointing wheresoever our relationships take us. But you, dear reader, are about to get an update to your map.
Before we begin, it's essential to illuminate the distinction between Consensual Non-Monogamy (CNM) and its antithesis, cheating.
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